This morning you came up from downstairs bearing the news we’d feared hearing this past year: “My mother asked.. if our relationship was..”
This question is really a simple one, one with an equally simple answer. Yes. Yes, precisely. It is precisely that sort. But when the person closest to you asks the question she doesn’t want to know the answer to, the one that every mother doesn’t want to have to ask, while tearing at the same time, isn’t it then the sort of question whose answer she doesn’t want to hear? Mother, you said, don’t think too much about it, what are you taking about. When you wake up you’ll stop thinking about this. We’re.. friends. Only.
Each time I’ve come to your country to visit this past year I’ve stayed with you, been fed by you. Sleeping, naturally, next to you. What she doesn’t know is this: if you have enough guestrooms, and enough beds, why then do we keep sleeping on the same bed? If, then, if I live abroad, why then do I visit every other week, sometimes several times a week? Why then do we keep going away together, this year to Thailand twice, once to a small East Malaysian village, Indonesia, London and Spain? She hates asking what she asked this morning: “Last month I walked in on you and saw the both of you in a deep embrace, holding each other to sleep.”
In that moment you almost spilled the truth, but like me last month (unable to tell my own father this): no words could leave your mouth.
If I ever have the chance at some time in the future when I find the courage to I would say to your mother: “Aunty, your daughter is my one and only, she is my future and she is my world. She is the one precious gem I’ve found in the short span of twenty two years in which I’ve been looking, that I’ve had the fortune to find. Your consent won’t change our love; but your blessing will change everything.”
I will say to your mother the bible says love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. I will say to you mother our love is patient and it is kind. It neither envies, nor boasts nor is it full of pride.I will say to your mother : if I have to wait a year, two , three, four or ten to say this I will. I have time and I can wait; I will say to her I love your daughter and I will for the rest of my life.